Papa, we're gonna be FAMOUS!

I got a voicemail from a girl from the Daily Sun today; she'd gotten my number from SMUT's SAO page (which I have to update but can't because the fuckers never gave me a password :( ) and called me to get my [SMUT's] opinion on Trojan's "Sexual Health Report Card" of colleges and universities. I can't find a link to it directly to actually see the whole damn thing, but there are plenty of colleges on the net touting or whining about their scores. Cornell came in at #63 of 139. Not so hot, but I suppose it could be worse.

I called the girl back and she had no specific questions but just told me to talk about what I think of the issue. If you know me (and many of you will very soon), telling me to "talk" is like opening a can of those giant sandworms from Beetlejuice, especially if it's about sex. I talked this poor girl's ear off for a solid ten minutes; about how I feel Cornell's administration and staff treat these things (A) vs how Cornell students as a whole treat these issues (C-).

I really believe progress starts and stops with us. The administration can give us free condoms and cash for starting awareness groups til its collective face turns blue, but it is OUR job to make it OUR concern; it is OUR job to turn these issues inward. Sex pervades our lives in every single way, yet we can't accept a package of free condoms and lube on Ho Plaza or openly discuss sexuality in a healthy manner. What's the deal, kids?

What I DID find out was that Trojan's experimental methods were pretty questionable; the writer told me that when she showed the Report Card to the staff at Gannett, they responded that they'd never heard of it and that they definitely were never contacted about a survey. How can you make a statement that partially concerns the way the administration and staff handle sexual health without talking to the administration and staff? Silly Trojan.

On the other side, they do have a pretty cool new campaign, evolve. The singing pigs kind of freak me out, as does the line in the song about relentlessly pursuing a woman after she turns you down; but Trojan, as perhaps the hippest and coolest condom distributor in the world, is doing a really awesome thing with this campaign.

That's enough out of me; I'm off to spam a meeting of one of the "elusive" sexual health awareness groups on campus with SMUT quarter cards.

We're gonna be in the Suuuuuuuun! I'd vomit but that girl was really cool. Look out for the article in tomorrow's issue (I think)!